ADHD can cause significant challenges in relationships. ADHD is a neurological disorder that affects an individual’s ability to focus and stay organized. It can also lead to impulsiveness and hyperactivity. ADHD can make it difficult for couples to communicate and connect, leading to marital strain and possible separation. Fortunately, there are some steps couples can take to help improve the challenges of ADHD in relationships. Here are 10 tips to help improve relationships when one or both partners has ADHD from a therapist who does ADHD-Focused Couples Therapy in NYC:
1. Educate Yourself About ADHD
The first step in fixing ADHD in marriage is to educate yourself about the disorder. For example, reading books, and articles, and talking to professionals can provide valuable insight into how to address ADHD in a marriage. There are many great books out there that provide an in-depth look at ADHD and its treatment. Some popular titles include Taking Charge of ADHD by Russell Barkley, Delivered from Distraction by Edward Hallowell and John Ratey, Driven to Distraction by Edward Hallowell and John Ratey, and The ADHD Advantage by Dale Archer.
Also, try talking to other people:
Connecting with others who have ADHD can be incredibly helpful. You can learn from their experiences, get support, and build relationships. Joining an ADHD support group or attending an ADHD conference are great ways to meet others and hear about different strategies for managing the condition.
And don’t forget to visit websites
There are many websites devoted to providing information about ADHD. Sites such as CHADD, Understood, and ADDitude are great resources for learning more about the condition and connecting with others who have it.
2. Communicate Openly
Once you have a better understanding of ADHD, it is important to communicate openly with your partner about the disorder. Talk about how it affects both of you, and work together to come to an understanding of the condition. Learning how to communicate effectively can help to reduce conflicts and improve relationships. But both parties need to plan on being more patient. People with ADHD often struggle with focus, fear of rejection, processing information, and making decisions in the same way as those without the condition. Acknowledging and validating your partner’s feelings can help them feel understood and supported.
Take Your Time When Communicating
Take your time when communicating, allowing your partner to take their time to process and respond. Non-verbal communication can help to reinforce verbal messages. Use eye contact, gestures, or touch to show understanding and support. And ask questions: Asking questions can help to clarify what your partner is trying to communicate, and ensure that you are both on the same page. Also listening: Listening actively is an important part of any conversation. Show your partner that you are listening by repeating back what they have said and asking follow-up questions.
3. Respect boundaries
Those with ADHD often struggle to maintain boundaries. It is important to establish clear boundaries with your partner to ensure that both of your needs are respected. If a boundary is violated, it is important to communicate this to your partner and work together to come up with a solution.
Truly Listen To Each Other
The first step in respecting boundaries in relationships is to truly listen to each other. This means being open and receptive to the other person’s thoughts, feelings, and opinions. Respect each other’s physical and emotional space. Don’t overstep boundaries or intrude on someone’s personal life. Respect each other’s time and energy by not over-scheduling or taking up too much of the other person’s time. Respect each other’s privacy and do not share information that the other person has not given permission to share. Be supportive of each other’s boundaries and strive to honor them. Show your partner that you respect their boundaries and will work with them to ensure that they are respected.
4. Take Time For Self-Care
Self-care is important for anyone struggling with ADHD. Taking time for yourself to relax and recharge can help reduce stress and improve focus. This will help you be more patient and understanding of your partner’s needs. Here are several examples to choose from. Try practicing at least one each day.
- Taking time to relax and do something enjoyable, such as reading a book or watching a movie.
- Spending quality time with friends and family.
- Practicing yoga or meditation.
- Eating healthy meals and snacks.
- Getting enough sleep.
- Exercising regularly.
- Doing something creative, such as painting or writing.
- Taking a hot bath or shower.
- Keeping a journal to process thoughts and feelings.
- Practicing deep breathing exercises.
5. Developing a Communication Plan:
Developing a communication plan can help couples with ADHD address their issues in a safe and healthy way. This plan should include a list of topics to talk about, as well as guidelines for discussing them. Have regular conversations. Make sure to set aside time every day to talk with your partner. This could be as simple as a few minutes at the end of the day to catch up or a more involved conversation about what’s going on in each other’s lives. Talk about your needs. Talk to your partner about what you need from the relationship and make sure that your needs are being met. Be honest and open about your feelings so that you can both work together to find a solution that works for both of you.
Active Listening is Key
Active listening is an important part of any relationship. Make sure that you are really hearing what your partner is saying and taking their thoughts and feelings into consideration. Take ownership of your actions. If something has gone wrong, own up to it and apologize. This will help build trust and understanding between you and your partner. Don’t forget to thank your partner for the things they do for you. It’s easy to take someone for granted, but taking the time to show your appreciation will go a long way. And focus on working through disagreements. Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship, so make sure to have healthy ways of working through them. Respect each other’s opinions and try to reach a compromise that works for both of you.
6. Take Breaks When Necessary
Taking breaks when necessary can help to reduce stress and improve communication. This can be done by either taking a break together or going on a separate outing. Taking breaks during a fight with your partner can help to diffuse tension, give both of you time to cool off and reflect, and allow each person to have a chance to express their feelings and perspectives without fear of immediate retaliation. Taking breaks also helps to create space to work together to find a solution that is satisfactory for both parties.
Breaks Can Help
Breaks can help reduce stress, improve focus and allow for creativity and problem-solving in communication to thrive. Those who take breaks also often report feeling recharged and energized afterward. The argument for taking breaks is clear; it helps to increase productivity and creativity, reduce stress and provide the opportunity for an individual to recharge. Therefore, taking breaks should not be seen as a hindrance but rather a necessary part of working effectively with your ADHD partner.
7. Maintain a Schedule
Having a schedule can help to ensure that both partners have enough time for their own needs and interests. This can be accomplished by setting specific times for when. For people with ADHD, a schedule helps to provide structure and order in their lives. Scheduling activities can help them to stay focused and organized.
Having a schedule can reduce stress and anxiety levels. When those with ADHD have a plan in place, they know exactly what to expect throughout the day. This can help to alleviate feelings of uncertainty and chaos that can come with ADHD. A schedule also helps to create a sense of control and ownership over their daily activities. This can help to reduce feelings of helplessness and boost their self-confidence, which is both helpful to maintaining healthy relationships.
A Schedule Can Help Improve Time Management
A schedule can also help to improve time management skills. Having ADHD, it can be difficult to estimate how long tasks take or to decide which tasks to prioritize. Having a schedule allows them to plan out their day, budgeting their time accordingly. This way, they can ensure that they have enough time to complete all their tasks, reducing the risk of procrastination and missed deadlines.
Having a schedule can also help people with ADHD stay focused and productive. Without a plan, it can be hard for ADHD people to stay on task or remain productive. Having a schedule provides them with a clear set of goals and tasks that need to be accomplished each day. This can help to keep them motivated and on track.
A schedule can help them to stay on top of their commitments, such as meetings and social gatherings. This can help them to build meaningful relationships and engage more with their community. Having a schedule helps those with ADHD to manage their time, stay productive, and reduce their stress and anxiety levels, all of which help to build more meaningful relationships.
8. Seek Professional Help with ADHD-Focused Couples Therapy in NYC
Finally, if you are still struggling with ADHD in your marriage, it may be helpful to seek professional help. ADHD-Focused Couples Therapy with a trained professional can help couples identify issues and create a plan for improving communication and understanding. Counseling can provide invaluable guidance on how to effectively manage ADHD in a relationship. A therapist can also help couples identify strategies to support one another and build healthier relationships. Couples counseling for ADHD can be effective because it can help couples learn to better understand and manage the symptoms of ADHD. It can also help couples build communication skills, practice problem-solving, and gain insight into how ADHD impacts their relationship. Counseling can help them develop strategies to improve their relationships and cope with the challenges that come with having ADHD.
By following these steps, couples can learn how to effectively manage ADHD in marriage. With open communication, mutual understanding, and professional help, couples can find ways to work through the challenges posed by ADHD and build a strong and lasting relationship.
In conclusion, it is important to remember that having ADHD does not mean your relationship is doomed. With the right communication and understanding, couples can make ADHD work for their relationship, not against it. Through education, open communication, and mutual support, couples can better manage the challenges of ADHD in relationships. If you or a loved one are struggling with ADHD in your relationship, we encourage you to reach out to a mental health professional today to explore the best strategies for managing the condition.
Start ADHD-Focused Couples Therapy in NYC
ADHD-Focused Couples Therapy at the ATTN Center is unique because it offers traditional therapy practices to address the psychological and emotional impacts of having ADHD in a relationship. We offer practical and emotional support for the stressors that come with having ADHD while navigating the ups and downs of a relationship. All through the lens of Neurodivergence.
Understanding the unique challenges of having ADHD that other therapies do not. Our expert ADHD-Focused therapists look forward to speaking with you. We offer a free 20-minute phone consultation to discuss your case and how we can help. Contact us today.
- Learn more about our team and the services offered here!
- Reach out to us through our convenient online therapy contact page here!
- Begin the journey to understanding your diagnosis and living your best life!
Other ADHD Services Offered by The ATTN Center in NYC
We not only offer ADHD therapy, but also other services related to the treatment of ADHD and its side effects. This includes ADHD-Focused Therapy for Anxiety, ADHD-Focused Therapy for Depression, ADHD-Focused Therapy, neurofeedback, group therapy, and ADHD testing options. At ATTN Center of NYC, we do everything in our power to treat ADHD without the use of medication, but we understand in some severe cases additional measures may be needed. As a result, we also maintain close relationships with many of NYC’s best psychiatrists.
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