When one or both partners have ADHD, relationships take on a whole new level. In addition to the regular relationship challenges, when a partner has ADHD it adds several other elements to the relationship on top. These additional challenges are often difficult for partners to work through on their own, because they require expertise in understanding ADHD and what we can do about it. That is why ADHD-Focused Couples Therapy is the most recommended option for partners who have, and/or who are with someone who has ADHD.
ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) can create unique challenges for couples. Not only does it affect the individual’s daily functioning and interpersonal relationships, but it can also affect the dynamics of the couple’s relationship. Fortunately, counseling can help couples with ADHD learn how to cope with these issues and improve their communication. At the ATTN Center, our team of skilled therapists specializes in ADHD-Focused services and is ready to help you face these challenges.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for ADHD-Focused Couples Therapy
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a type of psychotherapy that focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns, beliefs, and behaviors. It is based on the idea that our thoughts and feelings affect our behaviors, and if we can change our thoughts and feelings, we can change our behaviors. CBT has been found to be effective in treating a variety of mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
CBT is also effective in couples counseling.
In couples counseling, CBT focuses on helping couples identify their negative thought patterns, beliefs, and behaviors and learn how to change them. This can help couples better understand each other, resolve conflicts more effectively, and develop healthier communication skills. CBT can also help couples recognize when they are engaging in unhealthy behavior and learn new ways to respond in order to avoid conflict.
How does CBT work?
CBT focuses on identifying, understanding, and changing thought patterns and behaviors that are not effective or beneficial. It is based on the idea that our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are all interconnected, and by changing one part of this system, we can affect the others. CBT can be particularly useful for couples in ADHD counseling as it can help them to identify and effectively communicate their needs, wants, and feelings more effectively.
Goals for ADHD-Focused Couples Therapy in NYC
One of the main goals of CBT in couples counseling is to help couples identify the underlying issues that contribute to their problems. This involves exploring each partner’s beliefs, values, and assumptions about the relationship. Through this process, couples can gain insight into the reasons why they may be having difficulty with certain issues, such as communication or trust. By understanding these issues, couples can learn how to adjust their behaviors to better address the root causes of their difficulties.
Explore the Dynamics of Your Relationship
In addition to exploring individual beliefs and values, couples counseling with CBT also encourages partners to explore the dynamics of their relationship. This involves looking at how each partner contributes to the dynamics of the relationship, as well as how they interact with each other. This helps couples learn to better communicate, negotiate, and find solutions to their conflicts.
CBT an Effective Approach to ADHD-Focused Couples Therapy in NYC
Overall, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is an effective approach to couples counseling, as it helps couples identify and change negative thought patterns, beliefs, and behaviors. Through this process, couples can gain insight into the underlying issues that contribute to their problems and learn how to better communicate and negotiate with each other. By using CBT, couples can learn how to resolve conflicts more effectively and develop healthier communication and relationship skills.
Major strategies CBT helps couples with ADHD learn are:
1. Promote Improved Communication:
CBT can help couples in ADHD counseling to identify and effectively communicate their needs, wants, and feelings more effectively. The first step in CBT is to identify and understand one’s own thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. In ADHD counseling, this means helping the couple to become aware of what they are thinking, feeling, and doing in different situations. This can involve recognizing when they feel frustrated, angry, or overwhelmed, as well as understanding why they might be having these reactions. By understanding the root causes of their reactions, they can begin to recognize patterns.
Identify thoughts, feelings, and behaviors
Once the couple has identified and understood their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, the next step is to learn how to effectively communicate their needs, wants, and feelings. This involves learning how to express themselves in a non-judgmental and respectful way, while also being assertive and direct. This may include identifying and expressing personal boundaries, negotiating and compromising, and developing effective communication skills.
Develop strategies for managing ADHD
In addition to teaching communication skills, CBT can also help couples in ADHD counseling to develop strategies for managing symptoms. This may include creating a daily routine, setting realistic goals, and learning how to prioritize tasks. This can help the couple to manage their symptoms more effectively, which can improve their overall functioning. Through developing better communication skills and improved problem-solving strategies, the couple can work together to create a healthier, more fulfilling relationship. This can provide a stronger foundation for the couple to build a lasting and supportive relationship.
Learn to effectively communicate with ADHD-Focused Couples Therapy
By using CBT in ADHD counseling, couples can learn to identify and effectively communicate their needs, wants, and feelings more effectively. Through recognizing patterns of thought and behavior, developing communication skills, and building better relationships, couples can strengthen their bond and create a more satisfying relationship.
2. Increase Self-Awareness:
By understanding their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, couples can better identify the root causes of any issues they may be facing to better cope with their feelings and behaviors. Self-awareness is a valuable tool for couples dealing with ADHD. It can help them to better understand the impact of their disorder on themselves, their relationships, and their lives. With increased self-awareness, couples can identify triggers, gain insight into their behavior, and develop strategies for managing their symptoms.
Increased self-awareness can play an important role in helping couples manage their ADHD symptoms and develop healthier, happier relationships. Through greater self-awareness, individuals can identify triggers, gain insight into their behavior, and develop strategies for managing their symptoms. In addition, increased self-awareness can help individuals recognize any unresolved emotional issues and identify any self-defeating behaviors that might be contributing to their relationship difficulties. By taking steps to increase their self-awareness, couples can build stronger, healthier relationships and work together to manage their ADHD symptoms.
Sel-Awareness can provide insight
Self-awareness is important in ADHD counseling because it can provide individuals with greater insight into their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. When a person is aware of how their behavior impacts their partner, they can take steps to modify their behavior and create a more supportive relationship. Increased self-awareness can also help individuals recognize patterns of behavior that may be impacting their relationships. This can lead to more effective communication and more productive conversations.
Learn to recognize emotional issues with ADHD-Focused Couples Therapy
In addition, self-awareness can help individuals recognize any underlying emotional issues that might be affecting their behavior. This can be especially beneficial for couples as it can help them to identify and address any unresolved issues or conflicts that may be contributing to their relationship difficulties. By recognizing these issues and addressing them, couples can build stronger, healthier relationships.
Identify self-defeating behaviors
Finally, increased self-awareness can help individuals identify any self-defeating behaviors or negative thought patterns that may be exacerbating their symptoms. For example, if a person has a tendency to be overly critical of themselves, this can lead to feelings of low self-esteem and depression, which can worsen ADHD symptoms. By increasing their self-awareness, individuals can identify these behaviors and work towards changing them.
3. Improve Problem Solving Skills:
Couples can use CBT techniques to identify and resolve conflicts more quickly and effectively. For example, partners can work together to notice and label their emotions. Partners can also look at issues that may have been overlooked when they were simply addressing the symptoms of their relationship problems. For example, a husband may be upset that his wife won’t do more around the house or she may feel guilty for having a bad day at work.
Maintain good communication throughout the process
Couples should also strive to maintain good communication throughout their entire counseling process. The presence of hostility, blame, or criticism in conversations between partners makes it harder to resolve conflicts and unblock stuck feelings. Being mindful of this dynamic while in treatment can help couples identify opportunities to practice expressing their thoughts and feelings.
Objective support during ADHD-Focused Couples Therapy
Getting support from an objective third party is also helpful. Many couples find it helpful to meet with a family counselor or therapist. Mental health professionals are specially trained in helping couples manage stress and distress. Some couples prefer face-to-face sessions to video chats or telephone counseling.
4. Enhance Empathy and Understanding
Through CBT, couples can gain a better understanding of each other’s perspectives and needs, leading to greater empathy and understanding. In turn, this can improve the couple’s ability to communicate and problem-solve.
Couples-focused therapy
One of the most common types of couples counseling is called “couple-focused therapy,” in which the focus is on both partners. This type of therapy is particularly useful for individuals who are struggling to meet their own needs and have difficulty expressing their feelings and concerns to their partner. Couple-focused therapy may also be beneficial for couples who experience some degree of depression or anxiety.
Gain a better understanding of each other
One of the primary goals of couples counseling is to help each individual gain a better understanding of their partner’s thoughts and feelings. Individuals who struggle with this issue may benefit from a session that focuses on improving communication between them.
Additional benefits of couples counseling include an improved sense of trust and security, as well as the development of coping mechanisms to handle the stresses of everyday life.
5. Strengthen Relationship Bonds:
By developing improved communication and problem-solving skills, couples can create a stronger and more trusting relationship bond. More effectively manage anger and conflict, find solutions to problems and stay focused on the future. Psychotherapy couples counseling is a safe and supportive environment. The therapist will work with each individual to develop a personalized treatment plan. Our expert team includes licensed marriage and family therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers.
An integrative to health and well-being
Our highly trained staff will help you gain the skills needed to effectively manage your relationship through our clinical services. We believe in offering an integrative approach to health and well-being. Through psychotherapy and other services, you can experience significant improvements in your relationships. In many cases, therapy can resolve issues that have been causing strife between partners. You may be surprised at how simply changing the dynamic of your relationship can positively impact your overall well-being. When dealing with issues that are causing problems within your relationship, therapy offers a safe and judgment-free environment.
Developing Problem-Solving Strategies: Working together to create strategies to manage difficult situations, reduce negative patterns, and improve overall functioning in the relationship.
The key to successfully managing ADHD in relationships is for both partners to develop problem-solving strategies that can help reduce negative patterns and improve overall functioning. Working together, couples can create strategies to manage difficult situations and improve communication.
Set up Cues and Reminders
One strategy to help manage challenging situations is to set up a system of cues or reminders to help each partner remember what needs to be done. This could include setting alarms, writing lists, or even using a calendar or other organizational tools. By establishing a predictable routine, couples can help one another stay on track and avoid the distraction of everyday life.
Break Tasks Down into Smaller Manageable Tasks
Another helpful strategy for ADHD couples is to break down tasks into smaller, manageable parts. Instead of trying to tackle a large project all at once, couples can break it down into small chunks and focus on completing one piece at a time. This can help keep both partners focused, staying on task, and avoiding procrastination.
Practice Active Listening
It’s also important for couples to practice active listening. This means really paying attention to what your partner is saying and responding in a supportive way. Active listening allows couples to better understand each other’s needs and concerns and can help reduce the conflict that can arise when one partner isn’t heard or understood.
Focus on the Good Things
Finally, couples should strive to stay positive and focus on the good things in their relationship. This can help to keep the relationship strong and provide a sense of security and stability. Positive reinforcement can also help to reduce stress and anxiety, making it easier for couples to work together and build healthier relationships.
By implementing these strategies, ADHD couples can work together to create strategies to manage difficult situations, reduce negative patterns, and improve overall functioning in the relationship. With a little effort, couples can overcome the challenges that come with ADHD and have a fulfilling and successful relationship.
ADHD-Focused Couples Therapy Offers a Safe Space
It is important for couples dealing with ADHD to have a safe space in which they can discuss their needs and any challenges they are facing. In order to create a safe space, both parties must be willing to listen to the other person’s thoughts and feelings and respond in an understanding manner. To start, both partners should identify what their individual needs are in the relationship. It is important to remember that both people’s needs are equally important and valid.
Once both parties have identified their own needs, it is essential to communicate them to each other in a respectful and supportive way. This can be difficult for some couples, especially if one or both partners have difficulty expressing themselves. It is helpful to practice active listening and to make sure that both parties are heard and understood. It is also important for both parties to make sure that they are taking turns speaking and listening, and to avoid interrupting the other person.
Patience and Understanding are Key
Additionally, it is important for both partners to be patient and understanding of each other. This means being mindful of the other person’s feelings and respecting their point of view. If either partner feels overwhelmed or frustrated, it is important to take a break and come back to the conversation when both parties are feeling better.
By identifying and communicating their needs in an open and respectful way during ADHD Couples Counseling, couples dealing with ADHD can create a safe space in which they can work through any challenges they may face. With patience and understanding, couples can learn how to effectively support each other and build stronger relationships.
Conclusion:
CBT can be a powerful tool for couples with ADHD to learn how to manage their relationship and create a healthier environment. It can help them develop better communication skills, identify negative thought patterns and behaviors, and explore the dynamics of their relationship. With the help of a qualified counselor, couples can gain insight into why they may be having difficulty with certain issues and learn new ways to respond in order to avoid conflict. If you and your partner are struggling with ADHD and your relationship, it is worth considering Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as a potential solution.
Start ADHD-Focused Couples Therapy in NYC
ADHD-Focused Couples Therapy at the ATTN Center is unique because it offers traditional therapy practices to address the psychological and emotional impacts of having ADHD in a relationship. Practical support for organization and structure (scheduling, calendaring, to-do lists, not losing keys, etc). All through the lens of Neurodivergence.
Understanding the unique challenges of having ADHD that other therapies do not. Our expert ADHD-Focused therapists look forward to speaking with you. We offer a free 20-minute phone consultation to discuss your case and how we can help. Contact us today.
- Learn more about our team and the services offered here!
- Reach out to us through our convenient online therapy contact page here!
- Begin the journey to understanding your diagnosis and living your best life!
Other ADHD Services Offered by The ATTN Center in NYC
We not only offer ADHD therapy, but also other services related to the treatment of ADHD and its side effects. This includes ADHD-Focused Therapy for Depression, ADHD-Focused Therapy for Anxiety, neurofeedback, group therapy, and ADHD testing options. At ATTN Center of NYC, we do everything in our power to treat ADHD without the use of medication, but we understand in some severe cases additional measures may be needed. As a result, we also maintain close relationships with many of NYC’s best psychiatrists.
Resources:
Jacobson, N. S., & Margolin, G. (1979). Marital therapy: Strategies based on social learning and behavior exchange principles. Psychology Press.
McClain MB, Hasty Mills AM, Murphy LE. Inattention and hyperactivity/impulsivity among children with attention-deficit/hyperactivity-disorder, autism spectrum disorder, and intellectual disability. Res Dev Disabil. 2017 Nov;70:175-184. doi: 10.1016/j.ridd.2017.09.009. Epub 2017 Sep 26. PMID: 28957735.
Orr JM, Miller RB, Polson DM. Toward a standard of care for child ADHD: implications for marriage and family therapists. J Marital Fam Ther. 2005 Jul;31(3):191-205. doi: 10.1111/j.1752-0606.2005.tb01563.x. PMID: 16094812.
Pera, G., & Robin, A. L. (Eds.). (2016). Adult ADHD-focused couple therapy: Clinical interventions. Routledge.
Tosto MG, Momi SK, Asherson P, Malki K. A systematic review of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and mathematical ability: current findings and future implications. BMC Med. 2015 Aug 27;13:204. doi: 10.1186/s12916-015-0414-4. PMID: 26315934; PMCID: PMC4552374.